This may go without saying, but apparently we all live in a nation of two year olds.  After many years of service I feel like “Please” and “Thank you” are going the way of the gramophone.  No, it hasn’t just diminished into “Can I have…” and “I’ll have the…”  It’s been molded into this disgusting slang word, “Gimme.”

It’s not just one demographic of persons either.  I do get the 21-year-olds that come in, roll their eyes when I ask to see ID, and croak out, “Gimme a beer.”  As much as I’d like to reach across the three and a half feet separating us and smack that kid in the mouth, I still have a job to do.  But I digress.  It’s not just the kids.

The business suits: “Gimme a Grey Goose martini, straight, twist.”  Meanwhile this guy isn’t looking at you and shoos you off with this back-handed wave like you just offered to wash his windshield for him.

The ladies who lunch: “Um, gimme something refreshing… can you make something with like, vodka and cranberry juice in it?  Yeah gimme that.”

The jocks: “‘S up.  Gimme a vodka club.”

The foreigners: “Gimme American beer!”  First allow me to teach you enough English so that you can properly ask for one!  This is FAR more annoying than the foreigner that points to a beer tap, nods, and says, “Please!”  I’ll take that over “Gimme” any day.

Growing up as kids if you didn’t say please and thank you, nothing happened.  No bartender on the planet thinks it’s cute to be bossed around, and using puppy dog eyes while using demeaning expressions doesn’t make it better so stop trying.  There is a very large difference between offering to provide service to others and becoming one’s servant.  We deal with enough.  Your kids get sick and vomit under the table, we clean it up.  You and your pals get intoxicated, we call you a cab and probably get stiffed on the tip because you’re too drunk to remember you have to pay AND tip.  We set up for you and we clean up after you.  We listen to your problems and will tell you that guy sounds like a real asshole even if you sound like an over-bearing bitch.  I even had a guy get a nosebleed at the bar and leave behind all his bloody napkins for me to clean up.  Which I did.  With a lot of latex gloves and sanitizer.

Don’t get me wrong, we’ve gotten a lot worse than “Gimme.”  We’ve been cursed at, yelled at, belittled, and threatened.  My point is that there is a reason we are called the hired help.  We are actually trying to help you.  And even a little gratitude can go an extremely long way in our eyes.  Remember that.

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